


Can't Think Straight

by digthewriter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bottom Harry, Denial, Explicit Language, Gay For You, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Oral Sex, Pining, Rimming, Rough Sex, Top Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-05-31 23:32:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6492106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/digthewriter/pseuds/digthewriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being in love with your straight friend is never a good idea. Especially when said friend lives with you. Or, what happens when you give your straight friend a blow job. That's probably a bad idea too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Think Straight

**I.**

Not realising it was Draco Malfoy's eighteenth birthday, Harry showed up at Malfoy Manor with Malfoy's wand. When he was allowed into the main hall of the house, he was surprised to see all of Malfoy's friends, minus Vincent Crabbe gathered there.

"Sorry, I didn't realise you'd have company," Harry said, handing the wand to Malfoy.

"Yeah, one can forget their own birthday but friends do not," Malfoy said, shrugging. He walked in the opposite direction of where his friends had been gathered and Harry followed him.

"Why are you returning this to me now?" Malfoy asked, slightly scowling.

"Seemed like the thing to do. I'd been meaning to do it for a while but things have been...busy." Harry looked around the room, everywhere but at Malfoy, when he spoke. "It's not mine to keep."

"You destroyed the Dark Lord with it," Malfoy said, his tone dry.

Harry looked at him immediately, then. "Yes, and when anyone asks me about it, I'll tell them it was your wand," he said. He didn't want to be associated with it. "I don't like the attention, and maybe this way, you and your family get some positive attention."

"I think you've done enough, Potter," Malfoy said; he didn't sound spiteful. He smiled softly at Harry and tried to hand him the wand back.

The Trials at the Wizengamot had taken place shortly after Voldemort was defeated, and Harry had spoken up for the Malfoys, getting them off a sentence to Azkaban. Harry didn't think he'd see the Malfoys again after that, but holding onto Malfoy's wand had bothered him. He wanted to get rid of it. Part of him wanted to see Malfoy again.

"It won't respond to me anymore, remember, and I've already got a new one. My mother took me to the wandmaker yesterday and I received one as a birthday present."

"Just keep it," Harry said. "Someday they'll want it for the archives and well...I'm always losing things. I'm sure you can keep it safe in the house." He shifted slightly since he was very uncomfortable being there. It hadn't been long before when he and his friends were tortured and Dobby had died, he didn't know if he could ever be comfortable at the Manor.

"Very well," Malfoy said. "So what are your plans now? Get married to Weasley? Become an Auror? The papers are all about _what's next for Harry Potter_."

Harry laughed nervously and ran a hand through his hair. "Hardly. I doubt that's happening."

"Which one?" Malfoy asked, an eyebrow raised and looking slightly intrigued.

"Any of that. Ginny and I...we broke up, and well, I'm not sure if I want to be an Auror. I might travel or find a place in Muggle London." He shrugged and placed his hands in his pockets. "Hermione is going back to Hogwarts to finish off the year, and Ron is going to be working with George. I have no idea what I'll be doing."

"Getting a flat away from everything sounds like a good plan," Malfoy said, sounding thoughtful. "I wish I could do that. Get away from it all." His face blushed slightly as if he'd not realised he'd said that out loud and wished to take it back.

"Do you think you could live in the Muggle world?" Harry asked.

"I'm not allowed to do any magic for at least a year, as part of my sentence, so I don't see why not."

"Oh. In that case, I might have an idea..."

=*=*=

_  
**FIVE YEARS LATER**  
_

Harry walked into his flat and found Draco sitting on the sofa, remote in hand, and staring at the telly. Though, he wasn't watching anything. Harry remembered Draco had had a date tonight with another Pureblood witch his mother had tried to set him up with, and he was afraid to ask how it went.

He dropped the bag of the sandwich and chips he'd brought from work on the coffee table near Draco's legs to see if that would get his attention, or at least, put him in a better mood. Almost five years of living with Draco, and Harry knew his smile was worth almost anything.

"Thank Merlin," Draco said, grabbing the bag and pulling out some of the potato wedges before Harry could even grab the plates. "Get me an Engine Oil while you're there."

Harry shook his head and grabbed two beers from the refrigerator and made his way back to the sitting room.

Their flat wasn't small. Their bedrooms, compared to their neighbours were larger, but the small kitchen and the sitting room were definitely considered cramped quarters. It was a good thing Draco never cooked, and all the cooking Harry did was at the Lily's Fish and Chips, where he worked.

After Draco's parents had visited for the first time, they'd never come back. Not that Harry minded that. The less he could deal with Lucius Malfoy, the better it was for everyone involved.

"That bad?" Harry asked when Draco nearly drank half the beer in one go. If he didn't slow down, he'd get drunk too fast, and then Harry would end up taking care of him instead of going out. And he needed to go out. He'd been feeling too...much lately.

It was sad enough he had a crush on his flatmate. His straight flatmate who also happened to be one Draco Malfoy — but taking care of Draco while he whined about how his parents were disappointed he couldn't find the right girl to marry was, in fact, overkill.

"I'd barely sat down across from her in the sitting room of the Manor when she started going off about how many children she wanted to have. Where they would go to school, and what influences we wanted to have on them." Draco shook his head and took a big bite of the sandwich. Harry couldn't help but watch his mouth as it worked.

God, he always wondered what it would be like to kiss Draco.

Draco handed his sandwich to Harry, who then took a bite from it. They shared their food like that when they were home. Draco was far too comfortable with Harry for his own good.

"You got some..." Draco said, as he brushed his thumb against Harry's mouth and the side of his lip. "You eat like a slob, Harry." He sucked on his thumb for a moment before returning the beer bottle to his mouth.

"So how did you get out of there?" Harry asked. "Was this a supervised date?"

Draco shivered. "The worst part of it all is I'd bought brand new dress robes for meeting this one. Mother had gone on and on about how she was going to be the one and I couldn't just come by in Muggle clothes. As if I've _ever_ worn Muggle clothes outside of the Muggle world. Even at the Leaky, I was in dress robes, and I go to work—"

"You're getting worked up again," Harry said, taking the first sip of his own beer. Old Engine Oil was Draco's favourite, and Harry had started to take a liking to it, as well. He enjoyed the coffee and chocolate aftertaste in his mouth, and always identified it as Draco.

"Sorry," Draco said, placing his hand on Harry's shoulder and squeezing it a bit. "What will I do without you, Potter?" He smiled again and finished the last of his chips. "Anyway, I made an excuse about needing to do some inventory logging at the apothecary and left before anyone could stop me. Then I Apparated to the apothecary, changed out of my robes, and came here."

"Doesn't sound _so_ bad," Harry said, "I think you've had worse."

Draco shrugged and sagged back into the sofa. "I don't know. Part of me just wants to tell Mother that it's never going to happen. There's a higher chance of me finding a Muggle to settle down with."

"I'm sure that'll go over well with your parents," Harry said and got up. He headed over to the kitchen again; he needed to keep as much distance between him and Draco as it was possible. Lately, Draco's touches, though friendly, were becoming too much. It was hard for Harry to not get _hard_. It was stupid, really. Absolutely stupid to want his flatmate like that but he just couldn't help it. Draco was attractive, fit, in that annoyingly slender sort of way, and he didn't even know it. Sure, he had an air about him that was overconfident and it appealed to the masses, but Draco truly didn't _know_ how hot he was.

"What are you up to tonight?" Draco asked, following Harry into the kitchen and placing his chin on Harry's shoulder.

Honestly? Did he know what he did to Harry and just liked to torture him? Harry wouldn't put it past a Slytherin.

"The usual," Harry said shrugging and tried to manoeuvre himself from under Draco. "It's Shane's birthday so we're meeting at the pub, and you know..."

"Shane doesn't like me much," Draco said, and Harry could hear the pout in his voice even though his back was turned towards Draco.

"He does," Harry said immediately. When Draco didn't answer, Harry turned around to look at him. "Do you want to come with? Maybe take your mind off all this...marriage talk?" When Draco didn't say anything for a while, Harry continued talking. "Shane won't care. He'll be so drunk by the time we get to the pub, he'll be happy to see you, and I know Tris won't mind."

Harry grinned at Draco who made a face at him. Tris was one of Harry's first gay Muggle friends, and he had quite the crush on Draco. Draco was a good sport about it and it was often a running joke between all of them of how they were going to run away together.

"Fine," Draco said, sounding exhausted, as if it were _he_ who was doing Harry a favour. "I plan on drinking a lot tonight."

**II.**

Harry woke up with a raging headache and an arm around his waist. He shifted slightly, his eyes hurting too much to remain open, and he immediately closed them. He was still dressed. What was even more strange was the arm around him felt familiar. Did he bring someone home he'd already been with? But then, why was he still dressed?

He heard the man moan slightly and pulled on Harry tightly.

"Draco?" Harry asked, confused. His arm instinctively went towards the side-table searching for his glasses. Once they were on, he turned to find Draco sleeping next to him.

Draco, was _not_ as fully dressed as Harry. He still wore his Muggle jeans but nothing else. Harry evidently still had his socks on.

"Bloody hell how much did you drink last night?" Harry asked.

Draco's hand moved up from Harry's waist and it rested at the back of Harry's neck. "Why?"

"You crashed in my bed. What were we—" Harry stopped himself abruptly; did he want to know what they'd been doing? Had Harry confessed his feelings to Draco? God, had they started snogging and Harry just didn't remember.

"We were talking. I was telling you about Astoria when you started snoring. Then, I guess I must have fallen asleep too."

"Which one's Astoria again?" Harry asked and Draco rolled his eyes. He let go of his hold on Harry's neck and turned to get up off the bed.

"I can't believe I almost..." Draco trailed off as he started to leave the room.

"Almost what?" Harry asked, sitting up. Now, he was curious. What did Draco almost do? Did he almost kiss Harry? No, that couldn't be it. Did he almost tell Harry he wanted to try it with a man? Only in his dreams!

"Nothing."

Harry got off the bed and chased after Draco who was now standing in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at his reflection. He shook his head and grabbed his toothbrush. Harry stood by the door and watched Draco brush his teeth.

"Are you going to watch me..." Draco raised an eyebrow and didn't finish the sentence.

Harry shrugged. "Tell me you almost what, and I'll leave you alone."

Draco rolled his eyes and closed the distance between them. "You really don't remember our conversation?" he asked and Harry shook his head. Draco grabbed Harry's shoulder and pushed him out of the doorway, slamming the door closed in Harry's face.

Harry waited on the sofa for Draco to come out, when he did, he went directly to his bedroom. Harry decided to brush his teeth next, maybe if he didn't think about it, whatever they'd talked about last night would come back to him.

It didn't.

After taking a shower, and putting on a clean pair of jeans and t-shirt, Harry decided to just go to work. His shift didn't start for another hour but evidently Draco needed his space.

As he sat on the bed putting on his shoes, Draco walked in.

"I was embarrassed to tell you something, since your friends were talking about it, and then I kept drinking. Well...because..."

Harry scowled, cursing himself for drinking too much and not remembering anything. He looked at Draco, studying him — his awkward way of standing and then Harry remembered why he'd started drinking so much in the first place. Shane, Tris, and Jake were talking about sucking cock.

They'd asked Draco about what it was like to have a woman suck his cock since all of them had only had had experiences with men. That was when Harry had taken his second shot of the night. The shots kept coming after and he'd tuned the conversation out.

Harry hadn't been the only one who was uncomfortable and getting drunk. Draco was too.

"Is this about performing oral sex?" Harry blurted out. He'd been living with Draco for five years; they had absolutely no filter with each other — even if Harry hadn't wanted to blurt it out.

Draco's eyes widened slightly, and his cheeks flushed.

"If you didn't want to talk about it, then that was fine. Those boys just love discussing cock, you can simply stand there and not say anything for hours and that'd be all right."

"I—uhm—" Draco shifted his weight from one foot to the other. It was clear he wanted to tell Harry something, but he just didn't know how to.

"Draco, you've never been this quiet or held anything back before. You're starting to freak me the fuck out."

"It's just you're my best mate, you know?" Draco said, without making eye contact with Harry. "And it's not like you _discuss_ your sexual exploits with me but...I just...don't have anyone to talk to about this."

"Why are you standing by the door?" Harry asked, relaxing back and settling on his bed. Clearly he wasn't going anywhere now. Not anytime soon, anyway.

Draco took a few steps towards the bed and then stopped abruptly. "I wasn't embarrassed by what your friends were saying. I mean I made some stuff up and they were okay with that. I _have_ watched Muggle porn—"

"Made some stuff up?" Harry asked and the blush on Draco's cheeks was back. "Draco, you're not telling me you've _never_ got a blow job before?" Harry talked about sex with his gay friends all the time. Most of their evenings they had drinks at the bar discussing how big it was from the night before, so it didn't faze him. But, he'd never talked about sex with Draco. He'd discussed his dating life — the pureblood courtship kick he'd been on of late, but never sex. Now he knew why.

Draco shook his head.

"But you've been out with women. You've come home in the morning—"

"With some of them, I did stuff. Mostly _to_ them..."

"Okay, gross. That's too much information," Harry said, waving his hand in the air. He didn't need to know what kind of things Draco did _to_ women. "Seriously, though. You've _never_..."

Draco shrugged. "Some of them didn't even want to touch it. They just wanted me to touch them, put it inside—"

"Okay, you _really_ need to stop talking," Harry said. They were quiet for a while, until Harry broke the silence again. "And you think I needed to know this information?"

Draco was quiet again. He stared at the ground while Harry looked at him. Eventually, he looked up and locked gazes with Harry.

"We never talk about sex," Harry said in a cool tone. He wanted to know what was going through Draco's mind. "I just thought it was because you were private about that, I didn't realise it was because you never..." He bit the inside of his cheek, afraid of saying the wrong thing, and offending Draco.

"I was embarrassed."

"I'm your friend, Draco. I would never—"

"Maybe it's me. Maybe it's not appealing," Draco said, looking uncomfortable.

"Do you want me to see?" Harry asked, shifting slightly. This was turning out to be the strangest day ever. First, he woke up in bed with Draco — granted they were fully dressed, and now he was going to see Draco's prick? Was he still sleeping?

"Would you?" Draco asked, sounding nervous.

"Okay, drop it," Harry said, crossing his arms.

"No, that's stupid," Draco said, starting to turn around.

"If I won't tell you then who will? Don't tell me you're going to go to Parkinson—"

"Of course not," Draco snapped. "If I wanted to talk to her about it, I would have done it ages ago."

"Well then, you brought it up. Okay, wrong choice of words. Still, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with it. You just haven't found the right woman who'd want to get on her knees, take you in her mouth, swirl her tongue up and down your shaft—"

"For Merlin's sake, Harry," Draco said, looking scandalised.

"Aw, my poor little virgin flatmate," Harry teased. He knew he was pushing Draco's buttons now, but suddenly this had become a challenge. He wanted to see Draco's cock, heck, he wanted to suck him off. Maybe Draco wanted to tell him about it because he wanted Harry to _do_ something about it.

"I'm not a bloody virgin, Harry," Draco snarled and he took a few steps closer to Harry.

Harry smirked. "Come here then," he said, looking into Draco's eyes before dropping his gaze on Draco's groin. Harry wasn't sure entirely, but he thought maybe him talking about a girl sucking Draco off had peaked Draco's interest.

"I'll do it," Harry whispered as Draco finally diminished the difference between them.

"Do what?" Draco said, sounding more unsure of himself than before.

"I'll look at it," Harry said, unbuttoning Draco's jeans, and pulling the zipper down. When he'd pushed Draco's jeans down to his knees, he grabbed the elastic band of Draco's shorts. He looked up, eyes locking with Draco's, "I'll give you my honest opinion."

Draco nodded but didn't take his eyes off Harry's. Harry was reluctant to break the moment he was sharing with Draco in that moment. Draco's intense gaze on him was making him hard.

"Ready?" Harry said a few moments later, but didn't wait for a response. He looked away from Draco, and stared at his own hands as they pulled Draco's shorts down. He came face to face with Draco's bouncing cock. It was half hard, and already a decent size. Harry wanted to see it full. He wanted to see the throbbing veins in Draco's erection — his pink cock, a blushing red. Merlin, he wanted to see it leaking with precome and him licking it.

He grabbed Draco's cock at the base and tugged lightly.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked, his tone was more surprised than anything else. Much to Harry's surprise, he didn't sound hesitant or repulsed.

"I have to see it in all its glory to make a judgement," Harry said looking up, before he returned his attention to Draco's prick. He tugged it a few times, and it didn't take long for Draco to be fully aroused.

Harry didn't think anything about Draco's reaction. He was a man, and someone was pulling on his cock, of course he'd get hard. Harry was someone Draco felt safe with—someone he trusted.

"Can I lick it?" Harry asked, giving it a few more pulls, and his own arousal heating up from the pit of his stomach and pushing against his tight jeans.

"What? No... that's not why I asked... that's not what I thought..."

"I know, but I'm here and I'm willing. You wanted to know if it's appealing, and it is," Harry said. Draco's cock wasn't that much longer than Harry's, since Harry had obviously held his own and knew how to compare his to another man's. It wasn't as thick as Harry's though, and for some reason, Harry liked that. It would slide in and out of him with such ease.

"Harry, you're my friend," Draco said, his breath caught, as Harry hadn't stopped stroking him.

"And let me do this for you," Harry said, licking his lips. He looked up at Draco again, biting his lower lip. "I want you to know how good it feels. Who knows when you'll find the right...person to marry. How long it'll be until you get a chance again."

Draco looked conflicted and Harry saw the pleasure on his face at the same time. He kept stroking it. 

"Don't you trust me, Draco?" Harry asked; he'd put on his seductive voice, but since he'd never used it on Draco before, Draco wouldn't have known about it.

"Of course, I trust you, Harry."

Without another word, Harry licked the head of Draco's cock, and Draco took in a sharp breath. Harry did it again and again, until he started to swirl his tongue around Draco's cock, before he took him all the way in. He released his hold on the base of Draco's cock so the head of his cock could hit the back of Harry's throat and he started to gently massage Draco's balls.

Draco whimpered above him and his hands grabbed Harry's shoulders hard. Harry used his other hand to grab Draco's hand that was on his shoulder and placed it on his head. His head bobbed up and down Draco's cock, taking in the salty taste of Draco's precome and did his best to ignore his own aching arousal.

Draco seemed to have caught Harry's hint and he used both his hands to grab onto Harry's locks. Draco pulled Harry's head off his cock and tilted it so Harry could look at Draco again. Harry smiled for a second before he grabbed Draco's erection and rubbed the head of Draco's cock against his lips -- like he was putting on gloss. Draco released a low growl and he shoved his cock in Harry's mouth again.

As if on their own accord, Draco's hips started bucking. If this was his first time, he seemed to know what he was doing. Harry reckoned all that time watching Muggle porn on the internet was paying off.

Harry grabbed Draco's waist and held him tight. He allowed Draco to guide the movements, to how slow or fast, how tender or harsh he wanted to fuck Harry's mouth. He should have stopped and thought about what they were doing. What Harry was doing. He'd been in love with Draco for the better part of the few years they'd been living together, and getting to taste Draco like this was a fantasy coming true — but it could also be something that'd come crashing down quick and hard.

He tried not to think about it. He moaned around Draco's cock and it was as if that was the push Draco had needed, and he started mumbling, "I'm going to come. Fuck, Harry. I'm going to come..." He started to pull his cock out of Harry's mouth, but Harry stopped him.

Digging his nails in Draco's skin, Harry kept him close. There was no other way for him to convey he wanted Draco to come in his mouth. He wanted to taste Draco down his throat.

"Are you sure?" Draco asked but he didn't make any effort of pulling away again, even though Harry loosened his grip on him.

Much to Harry's surprise, he spilled in his pants before Draco spilled himself on Harry's tongue. It was hot, hotter than Harry had expected, and he loved every second of it. He had some trouble swallowing it all at first but when Draco pulled out of his mouth, Harry licked the side of his face, before he cleaned Draco's softening cock with his tongue.

They stood there, gasping for breath, with Harry's hands still on Draco's waist and Draco's hands in Harry's hair. Finally, Draco cleared his throat and released Harry. Harry brought his hands down and placed them in his lap. Maybe he was inadvertently hiding the wet spot on his jeans, he didn't know. He just had no idea what to do with his hands now.

"I..." Draco began to speak. "I don't know... I mean... what about you?"

"I'm fine," Harry said, quick. He looked up at Draco again and smiled as if nothing had just happened. As if they'd just played a game of cards and he'd dealt his last hand. 

"Are you sure, I mean—"

"I have to get ready for work," Harry said, standing up. He tried not to cringe at the uncomfortable wetness in his pants and wasn't sure if he had time to take another shower.

"Oh. Okay," Draco said, awkwardly. "I'm not sure if I'm supposed to thank you..."

"That's okay," Harry said, tucking a lock of hair behind Draco's ear. "It's what friends are for."

Draco smiled and Harry helped him pull up his shorts and jeans, just so he didn't have to look at Draco for some time. 

As Draco started to leave Harry's room, Harry called after him. "Don't...don't tell anyone we did this."

"I won't," Draco assured him. "It was a one time thing, and I mean... what would I say? I'm—"

"You're straight, right. I know," Harry said. He turned away from Draco and made his way to the dresser. He needed to find a clean pair of shorts and a different pair of trousers.

"Right," Draco said, and left the room.

=*=*=

Harry finished his shift at Lily's Fish and Chips but didn't feel like going home. He wasn't ready to face Draco. Not just yet. All throughout the day, his mind kept on going back to what they'd done. He had no idea how they'd ended up in his bed in the first place last night, and things only spiralled after that.

Draco wanted to tell him he'd never had oral sex. Then, Harry'd sucked him off. And it was Draco who'd said it was a one time thing... It was. Because Draco was straight. Harry felt like an arsehole for taking advantage of Draco. That's what he'd done. He'd found a reason to seduce Draco. He'd found a reason to seduce one of his best friends, his _flatmate_ , by giving into the moment.

Draco wanted to _talk_. Maybe he wanted to say more than just that he'd never done that before. Maybe he was looking to confide in Harry, and Harry'd just...what? Used the opportunity for his own curiosity.

He wanted Draco. He always had and now he'd crossed a line he could probably never go back to.

 _Fuck_! _What if i totally freaked him out and now he's going to want to move out_? The fear sunk into Harry something fierce. He didn't know—he couldn't imagine his life without Draco.

But the day was going to come soon anyway. Draco was looking for a pureblood wife. Blow job or no blow job, Draco was going to move on. Maybe now Harry just gave him a push in the right direction.

No, Harry couldn't do this right now. He couldn't think about all of this, and he couldn't go home and face Draco just yet. He needed the familiarity of the diner, the mundane task of being a line cook, and shutting the world out. That's why he'd opened up shop in the Muggle city anyway.

Telling one of the young kids that worked in the kitchen to take off early, Harry decided to put in another few hours and avoid his life.

When he got home, the door to Draco's bedroom was closed. It was well past eleven o'clock, so Harry figured he was sleeping. He grabbed his towel and hopped in the shower.

=*=*=

Harry didn't see Draco for a few days. When he got up in the morning, he heard Draco in the kitchen and decided to stay hidden in his room. Only when he was sure Draco was gone, he wandered out.

At night, if his shift at the diner got done early, Harry went out with Shane or Tris on the pull. If he got lucky, he went to the bloke's house.

Ultimately, it was Draco who'd decided enough was enough.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Draco asked, when Harry had come home late, and Draco was sitting on the sofa.

"Out," Harry said, making sure he sounded confused.

"You've been avoiding me," Draco said.

"No," Harry said, resolute. "Maybe it's you who's been avoiding me."

"Fuck off, Harry. I thought we were friends," Draco said, standing up from the sofa and coming face to face with Harry.

"I've just been busy, Draco," Harry said. He knew it wasn't convincing, and from the look on Draco's face, Draco didn't think it was convincing either. "I just didn't know what to do after...and I wanted to give you your space."

"I don't regret what happened between us. I mean...do you?" Draco asked, his eyes nearly pleading. But Harry had no idea what he was asking.

"I don't know. I feel like I took advantage of you." Harry took a deep sigh; it felt good to get that off his chest.

Harry watched Draco closely. He had no idea what Draco was going to say now. What if he'd just made Draco realise Harry'd been a total perv. And _now_ Draco wouldn't want anything to do with him.

"What?" Draco spat out, looking shocked. "Of course not! Is that what you think? We're friends, Harry and I confided something in you, and you ... well ... things happened. It's okay, though. I mean, I enjoyed myself and you didn't do anything wrong. I was the one who took advantage of you. I mean you're gay, right? And I just went up to you and you basically...helped me out. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have been such an idiot!"

"Stop being so stupid, Draco," Harry said. "Of course, we're friends and maybe we can just chalk it off to friendly gesture?" he asked, shrugging. "I mean, you did say it wasn't going to happen again."

"Right, it's not," Draco said, looking determined. "I don't want you to stay out late because things are uncomfortable. Because they're not." Draco grabbed Harry's shoulder and squeezed it lightly. It was his usual friendly gesture, and Harry was somewhat relieved. So things weren't going to be awkward between them, and that was good.

Except, Harry's somewhat tame feelings for Draco were now anything but.

=*=*=

It took another few days for things to get back to normal and somewhat customary. Harry came home at a normal time from work, bringing Draco leftovers, and they hung out in the sitting room drinking Old Engine Oil.

Draco talked about his mother trying to set him up with another pureblood witch but this time instead of going through with it, Draco was starting to make excuses.

The only thing that remained out of the ordinary was Draco going out with Harry and his friends. Usually, Draco didn't have any trouble going to a gay pub with Shane, Tris, and Jake, but now every time their names came up, Draco was always too tired to go out.

He wasn't just avoiding his mother and her matchmaking, he was avoiding Harry and his friends.

When Harry told his friends about Draco's odd behaviour, they weren't any help either.

"You need to stop pining over a straight bloke, Harry," Shane said. Harry had told them about Draco's strange behaviour but not of what had happened between the two of them. He didn't want to break Draco's trust like that and besides, the thing that'd happened had been something between them. It was Harry's to keep and if he'd told someone else about it, it'd no longer be his and his only.

"You make it sound like I'm not trying to move on," Harry said. He didn't contradict Shane's statement about Harry pining over Draco. In the past, he would have argued, but now it was too late. He didn't want to deny his friends the truth, he needed their help so he could make headway on getting over Draco.

Of course, living with him was not helping.

"Well, this is progress," Shane said, with an eyebrow raised. Clearly, he'd picked up on Harry's acceptance to reality.

Harry'd told his friends he and Draco had had a fight and after they'd _fixed_ things between them, Harry hadn't had sex with anyone else. He was afraid of taking someone home now. The real reason had been because Harry wanted to be ready if Draco wanted him again — even though he'd said they would never do it again — and Harry was, naturally, delusional.

His friends thought their fight had been about how much sex Harry was having, and Draco was annoyed by all the noise they made.

"It's your flat too. You should have every right to bring someone home. Do you stop him when he brings women over?" Jake asked.

"The types of women he sees wouldn't want to come to our flat," Harry said dryly. Harry had no idea why after all this time, Draco still insisted on pissing his parents off. He was never going to find a pureblood bride living where he lived, yet, he went on these dates to please his parents.

"Well, that's too bad for him," Jake said. "If you have a man to take home, you do it. If he doesn't like it, he can move out. We all know you can afford to live alone."

The entire night, Harry's friends took turns trying to convince him he needed to live his life. Now that Draco wasn't hanging out with them so much anymore, they thought it was a great opportunity for Harry to find a boyfriend. Surprisingly, their advice, and the way they delivered it, reminded him of his friendship with Ron and Hermione. Ron would be the first one, like Jake, to tell Draco he could fuck off, and Hermione would be the wise one, telling Harry to think about what was fair and to think of himself first.

He had half a mind to go and see Hermione and Ron the next day and talk to them about it. But, telling his wizarding friends he was in love with Draco Malfoy was a lot more complicated than discussing it with his Muggle friends.

**III.**

Harry pushed Draco against the wall, his right arm up against Draco's throat and his left hand pushing Draco's shoulder back. "What the fuck is your fucking problem?"

"Mine?" Draco snarled. "I'm not the one who is fucking treating the entrance to this flat like a revolving door." 

In the beginning, Harry hadn't noticed it. The first night Harry had brought someone over, Draco had turned up the volume on the telly all the way up and had gone off to bed. Harry's _friend_ , Trevor, was completely turned off after and left.

There was another time when Draco had evidently got up bright and early in the morning and was banging dishes in the kitchen as if he was angry with every single pot and pan. Simon evidently had a wicked hangover and left shortly after. He'd never called Harry back.

There were similar instances with Grant, Eugene, Xavier, and many others whose names Harry hadn't bothered to learn. What eventually broke the camel's back was the latest performance from Draco with Sean. Harry actually really liked Sean. He was slender, but built, and had beautiful shoulder length blond hair.

As soon as they'd entered the flat, Draco had compared Sean to his father. "I didn't know men that looked like Lucius Malfoy were in the running for your cock, Potter, I would have invited my father over."

After Draco had said it, It was as if Harry couldn't _unsee_ it. Bloody. Fucking. Draco Malfoy.

"Didn't realise you were going to turn this place into a fucking red-light district. That's seven men over the past twelve days, Potter."

"Yeah? Why do you care? I've had people over before. You didn't have a problem then? What? Now that I sucked your cock, you think my mouth belongs to _you_?" Harry snapped back. He had no idea what he was saying, but it felt good to fight back. It felt right, to be like this with Draco.

This is how they were meant to be, weren't they? At each other's throats like that.

"What if I do?" Draco shouted back.

Harry paused for a second and looked at Draco, confused. Draco was scowling back.

"I'm not. Yours. _Malfoy_."

"Yeah. That much is true. You just wanted to suck me off, confused the fuck out of me, and then start whoring your mouth and your arse to everyone else with a heartbeat."

"You fucking wanker. I wouldn't be trying to get over you, _whoring_ myself out as you put it, if you loved me. If you weren't straight. Why do you care anyway? Don't you have a pureblood witch to marry? Doesn't Mummy have a line around the block of women waiting for you?"

"I never said I was straight. You just assumed."

" _What_?" Harry released his hold on Draco and took a step back. If this was a joke, it was a really bad one. Draco always talked about his expectations as a pureblood wizard, but he'd also gone out with Harry and his gay friends. He never tried to pull anyone, and never cared that Harry had...but no, it was true. He'd never said he was straight. He'd never said he was gay, or bisexual, or anything else, either.

"I don't care what game you're playing, Draco—"

Draco grabbed Harry by his shoulders and pulled him close. Harry had been confused and he'd let his guard down for a moment for Draco to grab the opportunity. He turned Harry around and pushed him up against the wall. Now it was Harry pinned under Draco and unable to move.

Their faces were mere centimetres apart, Draco's hot breath, smelling like Old Engine Oil, on Harry was making Harry forget what they'd been fighting about. In all his years, Harry touching himself thinking of Draco, and even sucking Draco off, didn't compare to how it felt to feel himself pinned under him. What Harry wouldn't do, what he wouldn't give for Draco to just kiss him right then and there.

Draco's body felt warm, his breath sent chills down Harry's spine, and then Harry gave up. The fight inside him fizzled out and he slumped against the wall, closing his eyes, and turning his head sideways.

Draco was teasing him, testing him, and he couldn't take it anymore. After this—whatever this was—was over, Harry was going to leave. If Draco wanted to keep the flat that would be okay. He just couldn't do this anymore. This was a battle, he couldn't win. He might as well lose the war.

Harry opened his eyes when he felt Draco's nose nuzzling near his ear. "Do you know how badly I want you. How it drives me mad to know you allow other men to touch you when it should be me doing it. I should be the one that makes you get on your knees, that holds you... that loves you."

"Yeah?" Harry asked, his voice uncertain. "You have a hell of a way of showing it." When Draco looked at him confused, he added, "You date women, Draco. Not just women, pureblood witches who will give you an heir."

"I don't want them," Draco snapped, his voice rising again, and Harry felt the fight inside him reginite. 

"How the _fuck_ am I supposed to know that, arsehole?" Harry pushed Draco but Draco kept his hold tight on Harry.

When Draco didn't say anything for a while, Harry tried to really push his way from under Draco. Enough was enough. He had no idea what was going on and he didn't want to be there, against the wall, anymore. He was _done_ with Draco.

"Get off me," Harry said, and Draco only pressed harder. "No."

"Draco..." Harry said when Draco pressed their hips together and Harry was sure he wasn't able to hide his erection from Draco anymore. It was pressing against Draco's leg. Draco shifted his weight slightly and the friction from feeling Draco's body against his hard cock made Harry moan.

Draco did it again. That bloody wanker, did it _again_.

"I don't know what you want—"

"You," Draco said. "I want you, Harry."

Harry stopped struggling, he took his hands off Draco, and brought them by his sides. For a long moment, he simply looked at Draco. Their eyes locked together, Draco's body pressed against Harry's and their eyelids refusing to blink.

"Do you want to fuck me against the wall or you gonna take me to bed?" Harry asked. Part of him was dancing with joy because this was a dream come true, and the other part of him wondered how long Draco could keep this up. Eventually, he'd pull back. Draco'd never been with a man, hell, he'd barely been with a woman. Getting your cock sucked by a bloke and sucking it return were two totally different things.

Draco took his hands off Harry and Harry's heart sank a little. He'd expected this, of course, but he didn't think it'd hurt this much. To have Draco, only to not have him.

The self-pity Harry was wallowing over went out the window when Draco grabbed the bottom of Harry's shirt and pulled it over his head. His glasses became crooked as the neck of the shirt was too narrow, making the task of removing his shirt, not so easy. Harry fixed his glasses and stared at Draco who looked conflicted and determined. Only Draco could pull off looking like that. He looked like a man who knew what he wanted, but didn't know how to take it.

Harry moved to grab the belt on Draco's trousers when Draco slapped his hand away. "No," he said and Harry gave him a confused look. "I'll do the work."

Harry resisted but couldn't help and snort at Draco's comment. "It's the least you can do given how you've tortured me all these years."

Draco shook his head and grabbed the back of Harry's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Harry gave in completely. He poured everything he had in that kiss, opening himself for Draco; opening his mouth for Draco's tongue to slide in. Draco swirled his tongue around Harry's tongue and Harry moaned into Draco's mouth, before he started sucking on it. 

This would have been enough for Harry. This moment he shared with Draco, getting to kiss him for the first time would have sufficed for the moment, but it was clear Draco had other ideas. His hands seemed to move on their own accord and Draco rubbed his thumbs on Harry's nipples in small circles. Harry grabbed Draco by his hips and pulled him close. He rubbed his groin against Draco's, the sensation sending chills up his spine. He'd _never_ felt like this with another man. He'd never come close to this much pleasure from just a kiss, from just the fucking dance that they were doing.

Finally, Draco grabbed Harry by his waist and guided them to Harry's bed. He pushed Harry on the bed before he removed his shirt and threw it on the floor. This wasn't the first time Harry had seen Draco without a shirt. There had been plenty of times when Draco walked around the flat in just his pyjama trousers or a towel. But this was the first time Harry was allowed to touch him. He swallowed his nervousness and pressed the palm of his hand against Draco's firm stomach. The faint scars — of a life they once had when there were on the opposite sides — were still there. Harry traced them with his index finger. He looked up at Draco whose eyes were closed and mouth slightly parted. Harry's hand reached up to Draco's chest and he flicked Draco's nipple, just as a payback of how much he'd been torturing Harry.

When Draco opened his eyes, Harry smiled up at him, biting his lip, and then used his other hand to rub against Draco's obvious erection.

"Lie back," Draco said and Harry did as he watched Draco unbuckle his belt, unbutton his trousers, and get completely naked.

Harry felt Draco's reluctance as he knelt down on the bed, his body hovering over Harry. "It's not too late to change our mind," Harry said, as calmly as he could. Regardless of how he felt about Draco, he was also Draco's friend. He didn't want Draco to have any regrets; and Harry didn't want to be Draco's regret.

"Shut up, Potter," Draco said, before he pulled Harry into another bruising kiss. His hands went to Harry's trousers and he unbuttoned them in no time, pulling Harry's trousers and pants down all the way. As Harry yanked the last of his remaining clothes off, Draco turned Harry around.

Harry had no idea what to expect. Should he grab the lube from the drawer of his bedside table? What if Draco was going to mount him then and there — without any preparation, it was going to bloody well hurt. As he opened his mouth to say something, Harry groaned with the surprise. His cock, pressed against the sheets on his bed, started leaking when he felt Draco's tongue lick his hole.

"Oh _God_ s," Harry moaned when Draco gave him another tentative lick before really, actually, yes completely, pushing his tongue inside Harry. Fuck the lube, fuck opening him up with fingers, Draco was going to fuck Harry with his tongue. Never in his days of imagining this, and there had been many, many days, Harry by no means expected to be claimed like this. Not from bloody Draco Malfoy.

Harry writhed against the sheets, the sensation of the fabric against his cock, as Draco bloody well ate him out, was going to make him come. And then, as if almost on cue, Draco pulled back. He held a firm grip on Harry's hips and pulled him back, making Harry get on all fours. Again, Harry didn't know what to expect, when Draco grabbed Harry's arse again, parted his cheeks, and went at it for a second round. At least this time, Harry was able to wrap a hand around his cock as he started pumping.

Eventually, Draco released him again. Harry chanced a glance back and say Draco fisting his cock a few times before he rose up on his haunches. Harry felt Draco line the head of his cock against his dripping hole and squeezed his eyes shut.

Draco was gentle at first. He was slow — too fucking slow for Harry's liking — but Harry didn't say anything. He didn't want to break the moment. He was getting fucked by the man he'd been in love with, and he wasn't going to do _anything_ to break the moment.

When Draco was all the way inside Harry, he'd stopped. He held Harry's hips tightly, and just stayed there. Harry bit his lower lip, afraid if Draco didn't move soon, he was going to snap.

"You feel. Fucking. Fantastic." Draco panted as he spoke. Was he out of breath?

"It would feel better if you actually started moving," Harry bit out, immediately cringing at his words.

Draco pulled out right then and slammed back into Harry. Harry bellowed with surprise and with the sharp pain. "You deserved that," Draco said as he pulled out and slammed in over and over again until Harry nearly well forgot his own name.

Finally, Draco stopped tormenting Harry and set a steady rhythm. They moved together with Harry balancing himself on his hands and knees, and pushing back as Draco pushed forward.

He didn't know how long they moved together. Sweat broke all over his body, dripping down parts of his skin he hadn't even been aware of. His glasses had fallen off his face and onto the pillows under him. For the most part, Harry had refrained from touching himself while Draco pounded into him because he didn't want to come too soon. However, with the way Draco was giving it to him, he had a sneaky suspicion if Harry'd already come once, there was a definitely possibility he'd come again by the time Draco was done with him.

Part of him didn't want to touch himself also for the reason Draco had said that he'd _do the work_. If Harry was going to come, it was going to be from Draco's touch and not his own. Nevertheless, he wouldn't have been totally surprised if Harry came without even laying a hand on himself. He'd never come like that before, but he just _knew_ if anyone could fuck him so brilliantly to make him do so, it'd be Draco. He'd already done so when Harry had sucked him off, and _this_ was far better than the first encounter.

"I'm so close," Draco whispered as he pressed his chest against Harry's back and picked up the pace. Harry had been right, Draco was willing to do the work. He wrapped his hand around Harry's cock and started pumping him, matching it with the tempo of his own pounding.

"Tell me when you're ready to come," Draco said and Harry didn't have to say anything because he spilled right then and there on Draco's hand with Draco's orgasm not too far behind.

It took them a few minutes to catch their breath after Draco pulled out of Harry and they both crashed on the bed. Harry had just about managed to grab his glasses and get them out of the way before his body weight would crush them.

After that, all Harry remembered was feeling a cleaning charm on him before he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

=*=*=

When Harry woke up, he was alone in bed. He wasn't sure if what had happened between him and Draco was a dream or not, but the way his arse was pounding and his thighs hurt — he knew he'd definitely had sex. It'd been a while, so he _absolutely_ hurt.

There was a bit of a shuffling noise outside his bedroom door so he decided to get up and find out what was going on. If Draco was going to ignore the whole thing and pretend he hadn't just given Harry the best shag of his life, Harry was going to hex his balls off.

He found his clothes scattered about on the floor and quickly got dressed. As he approached the bedroom door and opened it, he found Draco standing on the other side with a tray of food, and a flower in a tiny vase Harry had no idea where Draco had got from. 

"Bloody hell, I hoped you were still sleeping. I was going to surprise yo—"

"What are you doing, Draco?" Harry asked, stern. This wasn't going to be one of those scenes again when they'd just had sex and were going to change the subject.

"You were out of it," Draco said, looking uncharacteristically shy. "When I woke up, I couldn't go back to sleep so I thought maybe I'd surprise you. Show you how I feel."

"And what's that?" Harry asked. He got out of the doorway to his bedroom and Draco walked in. He stood there with the tray of food and stared at Harry. Harry rolled his eyes and got back on the bed so Draco could place the tray in front of him, and sat on the other side.

"Are you hurt?" Draco asked, rubbing Harry's cheek with the back of his hand. Harry leaned into the touch for a moment and then looked at Draco, confused. "I was a bit...rough with you. I didn't know if I hurt—"

"You didn't," Harry said hurriedly.

They stayed quiet for a while. Harry stared at the bread, cheese, and fruit placed in front of him. He _was_ hungry. Would it be totally weird if he grabbed a grape and popped it in his mouth?

"Where did you get all of this?" Harry asked, he knew that they didn't have any of these snacks at home.

"Went to the market around the corner," Draco said casually.

"So...how do you feel?" Harry asked, when his mouth had watered long enough and he took an apple slice and bit into it. He'd lasted all of four minutes before giving into his craving, Ron would be so proud.

"I'm unsure if what I did was the correct way to proceed after the first time. I felt ashamed of my actions, taking advantage of you in such a way, only to realise your feelings—"

"Will you stop this pureblood courtship act, Draco? You didn't take advantage of me," Harry said, rolling his eyes. "I was stupid to be the one who did that. I shouldn't have...it was reckless, and I only hurt myself."

Draco nodded, seeming lost for words.

"What feelings?" Harry asked, he offered a slice of cheese to Draco, and when Draco took it, their fingers brushed. In the past when that'd happened, Harry would immediately retreat his hands. This time he didn't. Draco's fingers lingered against Harry's touch for a few moments before he pulled away. "You said you realised my feelings. What feelings and how?"

"I might have had a conversation with Tris," Draco said. "He informed me, not realising he was doing so, that you've felt a certain way for a while and I was hurting you. He said Shane had nearly well convinced you of moving out or kicking me out and—"

"That was never going to happen, Shane's full of shit."

"Indeed," Draco said, breaking off a piece of the bread and spreading the brie on it.

"Why did you go to Tris?"

Draco shrugged. "I needed to talk to someone about what I was feeling. Because no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't seem to like any of the women my mother introduced me to an—"

"And you couldn't come to me?"

"I couldn't come to you because it was you I was in love with. I needed someone else to show me that. I needed to talk to someone who could simply hear me out and not pass judgement, try to convince me otherwise, or tell me I was deranged."

"So Parkinson and your parents are out," Harry said dryly.

"I went to Granger first, and she told me I'd hurt you enough. I had no idea what _that_ meant so I turned to Tris. Trust me, if I needed to speak to Shane, I would have."

"Hermione? You... you went to _Hermione_?"

"I never said I was straight, Harry, but I also never admitted to being gay. I didn't know who I was supposed to talk to about this."

Harry nodded thoughtfully. "I wish I could say you could have come to me. But, I didn't come to you with my problems—"

"What problems?"

Harry chuckled. "Being in love with a straight man who also happened to be my flatmate, and one of my closest friends," he said. "And then offering to suck him off because it was more of a fantasy of mine as opposed to seeing what he was trying to tell me."

"Well, the good news is we're both deranged," Draco said, laughing. They'd nearly finished off all the food on the tray so Draco picked it up and placed it on the floor near the foot of the bed. When he returned, he moved closer to Harry.

"As long as we're deranged together," Harry said, leaning down, and capturing Draco's lips.

"Works for me," replied Draco.

THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> [Written for "Draco Tops Harry" Fest on Livejournal](http://dracotops-harry.livejournal.com/318886.html).


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